Rate my Joooooooooooooooookess

JOKE 1- there is a guy who goes to hawaii for the summer. on his way he stops at a barnyard to take a rest. he goes in a barnyard and sees a man and a horse, then he sees a board saying WIN $5,500 if you make the horse laugh. hes's like hmm... leme try it... he goes to the horse says sum in his hears, suddenly the horse starts laughin his ass off! he takes his reward and goes home. then next summer he comes again to the same barn. this time the board sais WIN $20,000 if you make the horse cry. hes like ok ill try it, he asks the man if he can take the horse to the back. the man says its ok as long as he doesnt touch the horse. whn the guy brings the horse back out the horse starts crying like hell! he goes to the man who gives out the reward and asks if he can have his reward. th man who gives out the reward asks him how he makes the horse laught and cry, the man replied hmm it was ez the first time i told him MY BALLS WERE BIGGER THEN HIS, THE SECOND TIME I SHOWED HIM loooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!

JOKE 2- A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

JOKE 3- A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

JOKE 4-Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of
an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of
the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she
thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then
the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it
was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they
landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little
girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl,
why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came
down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy
who
was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy,
why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came
down
and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on
the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you
laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the
building behind me blew up!!"

JOKE 5-One day a blonde walks into a car shop. She looks around to see if she can find the perfect car for herself.
She finds a beautiful car with fine leather, but as she bends over to feel it she lets out a fart!
She looks around to see if anyone noticed, but as she turns she sees the sales guy is behind her so she askes him "How much is this car"
He replies back "Miss, If you farted just by touching the leather you're going to shit yourself when hear the price!"

Post which joke u liked the best JOKE 1,2,3,4 or 5
and post ur own jokes!!!!

omg u r hilarious...glad someone is here to make me laugh

oh and by the way....joke #1 was the best the rest were ummmmmm no comment

ty =) haha ima type another 1 for u bone, very soon i g2g atm

ok here it is..

there is this guy who come from the land of gay people. 1 day he moves to the city, he takes a train and there a young lady keeps looking at him and starts to like him. after he gets off the train the young lady follows him and then invites him to her house. they both walk in, then at 1ce the lady strips her self off. The gay guy touches one of her boobs and sais what is this!?!?!?!? who r u!?!?!? what r u!?!?!?!?!? shes like "ima radio" then the gay guy touches her nipps and trys to turn them, hes like how come its not working? she's like "u forgot to plug it in idoit"

thank you thank you... thats all for today....

heres a joke for u bro....

there was this cheff in a military camp saying the daily announcements using a loud speaker.
he says: "well, i got some good news and some bad news, for yall"
one soldiers asks: "whats the good news?"
the cheff says:" we're having poo for dinner tonight"
then the same soldier asks: "whats the good news?"
then the cheff says:"theres enough for everybody!"

hm tht dont make sense....

how can u say it dont make sense?
its so straight forward.....

sounds like someone had "special-O's" for breakfast

it doesnt say whats the bad nd epeats good news 2wice

aw hell, you're right........
i just noticed that...... you're right man, thats my fault

the joke sounds funnier in my head though... you know? lol

hahahaha

i must admit afew of those werent bad
yall gota get sum more though i need som laughs

yeah, someone should call seinfeld or something
wait, i got one buts its kinda racist though lol...

here it goes....

what do you call a bunch of people with aids?

africans
lmao, no need to call the naacp im just telling jokes here

??
thats a joke?
hmm that was the worst 1 ive seen on the site

dang, john why u hating on my jokes for?

i havent heard your clown mouth say any jokes...

i said earlier im not a person who jus comes up wit jokes
when i say jokes they jus happen its lik magic^_^

an i aint hatin i realy didnt think that joke was approiate or funny

hey genius, thats what hating is...

its alrite if u dont appreciate or think thats the joke its not funny...... but u dissed the joke bro
hater alert.... 0.o lol

bleh
i simply told u wat the jok was
GARBAGE
^_^
now thats a funny joke

man, you are whacker than a dry hump....

lol im just kiddin bro

the joke is not that bad, i usually get a LOT of laughs out of it, even if it is a lil wrong.

but i guess i cant expect "everyone" to have a "sense of humor" lol

lol yea u rite
but keep the jokes comin most of them were pretty good

amen to that